It’s not that there hasn’t been plenty happening – plenty to write about. It’s just that I can’t seem to get the words out of my head and onto the page. On several occasions I’ve been close to calling it quits (“who am I to expect people to be interested in what I have to say”) and blah-dy blah-dy blah-dy. But the truth is it does me good to write. It helps me keep from bottling everything up and whether the results end up here, or in a song, or on a scrap of paper, it’s all good. But it’s just not happening for me lately.
Today I put up two (very) short posts on Facebook and it got me thinking. What if I just start publishing little snippets, and I put them here rather than fb? So that’s what I’m gonna do – just chip away, chip away at that big ol’ block – start seeing the forest AND the trees. Wish me luck!
English: Khansar in cold winter (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Winter is always tough for me. I don’t know whether it’s circulation or what, but I feel the cold really quickly and it hurts! (I’m imagining someone reading this in a country that does really get cold thinking ” She doesn’t know what cold is!”)
In sync with the temperature dropping so does my mood, but my anxiety levels go up. A lot. It’s ridiculous. Then my immune system can’t handle it and I get sick. And so it goes until the weather starts to get warm again. I usually just batten down the hatches and wait for Spring, only venturing out when I have to. I’m so used to it it’s something I’ve almost come to accept – my Underworld vacation. Not all vacations are fun.
This Winter though has been particularly difficult. Many (too many) things have happened that have made me actually have to face myself (I usually manage to wriggle out of that somehow). Not this Winter though. I haven’t had that “luxury”. And I haven’t coped well.
BUT I think there may be a bit of Spring in the air these last few days, even though it’s still cold and the August winds haven’t really kicked in yet. We can only hope.
I can do this. Dragged my creaky, spluttering body out of bed and put myself through my paces.
I did some exercises- it’s been quite awhile so I had to resort to a very abridged set. The exercises I do I have been doing for years. They’re a patchwork collection of exercises I’ve tried out and found useful over the years. From time to time things get chopped and changed but it’s basically the same. I’m so familiar with this I can easily do a short, medium or long exercise section. (I did a short one).
Wrote some lyrics – this came from way out of left field. You may remember me talking about my current musical disconnect so I was very surprised to find this little posy of a few lines tickling the edges of my brain this morning. That makes me happy.
Got some washing in to soak. I handwash most of my stuff and since I’ve been ill not much has been happening on the homefront and the washing has been piling up in the corner. I swear it spoke to me this morning!
Made some beaded dragonscale to use in a belly chain. I don’t know the proper name for this. It’s just french knitted thin wire which you can pull and press to flatten. Dragonscale is what it looks like to me so that’s what I call it.
Have spent a little too much time trawling the interwebby, but it’s for inpiration and ideas purposes. Getting really interested in setting up my boards on Pinterest. I’m finding it extraordinarily useful! I have cut outs and quotes all over the place in the physical world and I can never find what I’m looking for, so this is like putting together a scrapbook online. I need to do this sort of thing to stop myself from just floating away.
I’m going to spend the rest of the day making jewellery, catching up on some reading. I read A LOT, but since I’ve been ill this time I haven’t read for weeks.
I would like to say I’m gonna get in some vocal practice, but I still can’t even talk without sending myself into coughing spasms, so singing is still out for now 😦