Hello

Hello 😊,

I know it’s been awhile…but here’s a little update.

Starting randomly and probably meandering.

I am so so not happy with my life at the moment. The good bits – Soda (my cat). My children, even though relationships there are currently not so good, I believe we can salvage them with careful nurturing on my part. I am the Mum after all and as such I believe I should take the lead in this. I have been an unconventional Mum in a world where others have very particular ideas on what that means, and tend to be very critical. I admit I should’ve been “tougher”.

I have been lamenting my living situation. Living in one room in a boarding house- no cooking facilities apart from a dodgy microwave in the laundry. There is a washing machine there but not for guests to use. The landlady can be persuaded to put a load through for you, but things get lost, there is not enough hanging space etc etc etc. No heaters are allowed (we’re at the end of Autumn here and it is getting cold). I feel the cold quite badly. Also no candles, incense, smudging etc allowed. My room is small. It’s had me in a tailspin. I’ve been avoiding leaving the room, agoraphobia is really hitting. I had a bad fall about 3 months ago and it’s led me to not trust my own body and its ability to stay upright.

BUT, I could be looking at this another way. What better opportunity than now to try out new ways of living. For example minimalism. I read about someone who only has enough to fill 2 suitcases, a backpack and her handbag. I could do this. I could also begin exploring veganism – raw foods in particular.

My plans right now (and believe me this could change) are to get together some warm clothes. Op shops: hopefully woollen blankets, sturdy shoes and warm pants etc.
Get a survival pack together. I could use what’s recommended to take to Burning Man (app.10 days) as a starting point, remembering to rotate as necessary. Next comes saving up for a vehicle. Preferably one that could be lived in for a time. Because after that will come the purchase of some land in an area where the vagaries of government etc will have as little impact as possible. Then the garden. Veggies, chickens, eggs, flowers to enjoy and make healing waters from. Then I will build my Tiny House.

I would prefer not to have to do this alone. I’m still hoping to find that “special someone” or at least have some kind of caring community around (or preferably both).

There are many things to consider, many things to learn. I really don’t know if this is a realistic, workable plan, but it is a plan. I’ve been flying by the seat of my pants for so long now, but I am too old, tired and world-weary for this to continue.

Of course there are other areas to explore and make decisions on- Spirituality for one thing. I’m all over the place. No wonder panic attacks and emotional anguish are a constant part of my life.

Simplify. Carry through with something. My life depends on it.
I was going to add a photo but I’m writing this on my phone and can’t seem to find how to do it.

Take care lovely people. Till next time…

Love V 🌱

 

Well That Was An Adventure!

Hey hey Lovely People,

I am back in Newtown. I won’t go into detail but, as Vinnie Jones said in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels “It’s been emotional.” What I will say, what this last few months have taught me is never, ever let your guard down and that sadly, sadly it can be the ones we are closest to who prove to be the most dangerous.

I am focusing on healing myself, slowly uncurling. It is the last week of TAFE before two weeks of holidays. I am not there but they have been kind enough to grant me extensions on the assignments that were due this week.

People have been very kind. My landlady even picked Soda and me up last Friday night to bring us back here. I am very broke but I’ll work that out. I am alive. I am safe. I am home. Everything will fall into place.

I visited Newtown Cemetery on Saturday, a very old, very peaceful place. All the graves are very old, mostly from the 1800s and early 1900s. Here I am visiting my favourite giant tree. You can sit among the roots and just be. Shelter. Sanctuary. I also tried to upload a pic of one of the old graves but one downside of being in an inner-city suburb is low flying planes which play havoc with the internet. It’s especially dodgy today because it’s cloudy.

Over the next couple of weeks I’m planning on taking lots of walks, writing, drawing, maybe even making some jewellery which I haven’t done in ages. In short, being very self-indulgent.

Take care, stay safe and happy. Until next time.

Love V ❤

 

 

 

What will be, will be

Hello,

I suppose I should let you know from the outset that this isn’t going to be the most upbeat of posts, so feel free to skip it.

This last couple of weeks have just been a little too much for this old gal. I know I’ll pick myself up again cos that’s what I do but right now…

Thinking about the way I live my life so precariously. It’s ok to live life flying by the seat of one’s pants when you’re younger, but when your’e pushing sixty, it suddenly just seems pathetic and right now I just don’t know what to do about that, except maybe pull the covers over my head and hope for some kind of divine inspiration.

I probably shouldn’t even be writing this post but they do say “better out than in” and maybe that will clear the way for some constructive thought and action.

I believe that for every problem there is always a solution. Perhaps the best way right now is to try and free my thoughts to allow space for a solution to come.

Next week will be better. Until then, take care

Love V ❤

 

Snakes and Ladders

Hello 😊,

Yep. My week has been like the title of this post. I climb a few rungs then lose my footing and am back to where I started from. Admittedly I did let it get to me quite badly and started feeling very sorry for myself, but I’ve pulled myself together today and it’s “onward and upward” (while making sure I don’t lose my footing quite so often.

One of the things that has contributed to my general state of Blah is a headache which just won’t shift. I’ve had it for a few weeks now, and while it’s nothing like the ones I used to get it is still very unpleasant. I’m trying not to take any more painkillers as I think I’ve been relying on them a little too heavily since it started so now I’m just trying to ride it out 😵

The view from my bedroom while having a rest this afternoon.

One of the things that I’ve been thinking about this week is that I’d like somebody in my life. I’ve always said that I’d never use a dating site but now I’m actually considering it. I don’t know if I’m just being silly and sentimental about this, since my track record with this sort of thing is pretty disastrous lol. But still, it would be nice…

Oh, before I forget. A question. When you look at my posts do you see part of a very old post which begins “Mes amis…”? Sometimes it seems to be there and other times not, but I can’t get rid of it. I’m thinking of changing my background to see if that will help.

My webbed-footed little friends have been around most afternoons on the way home. They’ve been on the opposite side of the road which, although still too close to traffic for my liking is not quite as precarious. I discovered today that there is not just a pair, another two came waddling up the footpath today to say hello.

I’ve made a little progress on my viking dress and as you can see Soda is still completely smitten 😻 so it’s pretty slow going at the moment.

I was bored on the bus the other morning and it was too early for anything that taxed my brain, so this happened. You can really see the broken-ness of my nose at this angle. I look like I’ve gone a few rounds and lost haha.

Well I’m sorry this post has been a bit rambly. Hopefully next week my headache will be gone and my head will be clearer.

Until then, be kind to yourself,

Love, V ❤

 

 

A Little Late…

Hey Lovely People,

Hope you are safe and well. I had planned on doing this yesterday, but time has gotten away with me. I haven’t even caught up on reading the blogs I like to follow.

TAFE is chugging away nicely, although taking up quite a bit more time than expected, particularly in the subjects I like, I suppose they’re the ones I’m putting more time and effort into.

I’ve spotted these little guys twice now in this same spot on my way home from the bus stop. I wish they wouldn’t hang so close to the road, but they seem to know what they’re doing. I wonder if they are the same pair that were in the pool a few weeks back?

On the Reenactment front, I’m busy getting my kit ready for the St Ives Medieval Fair which is on in mid-September. I’m really looking forward to it although I have lots of things to make in preparation for it. I’ll be camping there over two nights and am lucky enough to be sharing space in a Viking style tent. Yay!!! Right now I’m working on my linen undertunic which is all handsewn. Soda has decided he loves the feel and smell of linen and loves to “help” lol.

“Let me help you with this.”

Progress is pretty slow due to handsewing, but I’m getting there. I’ll post a progress picture next week.

…he takes his “helping” very seriously.

One of the girls in my group is having a birthday party in a couple of weeks. She is in contact with a Medieval reenactment group who are making available their archery equipment and I’m assuming themselves for the day. It should be lots of fun. I’ve never tried archery before.

And one last update before I go. We’ll be moving in a few weeks! I’ve been staying with my daughter and her partner who are currently housesitting here. We’ve found a place to rent together for about a year while they save to buy a place of their own. It will give me a chance to save too for wherever I move to after that. It’s all quite exciting although I probably won’t be quite so excited when it comes to the nuts and bolts of the actual moving haha. It shouldn’t really be too bad though. I travel pretty light these days,

Well that’s it for now. Talk to you next time.

Love V ❤

Back To School!

Hej!

(Practicing my Swedish there 😀). Hope all is well in your world.

Yes, it’s true. This ol’ gal is going back to school. Tomorrow I am starting the Tertiary Preparation Certificate (TPC) at TAFE – I think some other countries might call this type of college a Polytechnic. The TPC is aimed at mature students (well that’s definitely me lol) who wish to undertake some tertiary study. Some time ago I started doing Historical Reenactment and this rekindled my interest in History. Particularly Medieval History and within that, the Viking Age. So my plan is to attend University and do a History degree. The good thing about Academia is that it goes on merit rather than age and I’ve lots of plans for what I’ll do with that. I’m really excited and really nervous at the same time. Also just a little daunted by the prospect of having to wake up at 6:00 am and be out the door by 7:00 at the latest. Mornings are not my thing. I’m not a grumpy morning person, just a very vague one 😕.

Crafting is a big part of the Reenactment scene, and one of the crafts I’m learning is Nalbinding (Nålbindning in Swedish -practicing again 😉). I’m trying to finish off a hat I’m making to be able to wear out in the cold mornings. This is where I’m up to:

Nalbinding is the precursor to modern knitting. It is made using a single needle, usually made from bone or wood. I’m just a newbie at this craft so my stitches aren’t the best but it will do the job. The red bag underneath was my first completed nalbinding project. I’ll talk more at length about nalbinding in another post.

This little (big) guy is Soda. Excuse my foot in the photo. He’s been with me for about a year now when his original people moved and couldn’t take care of him. He keeps me sane and whole, considering his needs above my own is very good for me and also helps me make sure I take care of myself (so I can take care of him).

Well I’m going to get back to my nalbinding now. I look forward to catching up on some of your posts.

Have a great rest of your weekend and a great week! Until next time, as always, take care,

Love

V ❤

 

It’s Been Awhile…

Hi!

Back yet again. Let’s try and keep it going this time shall we? I did already write a post tonight but it seems to have disappeared into the ether 😕.

My posts seem to follow the currents of my life. I have so much to tell you about the past few years but that can all wait. I really just wanted to post tonight to say hello, to reconnect.

I’ve just moved in with my daughter and her partner. Still in Sydney, just a different part – a greener, slightly less frantic part of Sydney. I’m making lots of changes in my life. Not easy, but slowly finding my feet again after the dust storm that has been my life over the past few years. I’ll probably skip backwards and forwards in time in my posts as I document and try to make sense of it all.

I have lots of plans which I’m already starting to implement and I’m finally ready to get back on that ol’ horse called life, yee ha!!!

Now if I can manage to add an image (always been a problem for me here)…. I hope this makes you smile.

These little guys were in the pool this morning having a lovely time. As you can see by the leaves and twigs it isn’t being used by us humans right now and there’s not much salt in the water.

Well I will leave it here for now. I wanted to say hello, to reintroduce myself and let you know (and myself as well) that I’m here to stay 😀

Until next time, take care and lots of love,

V x

 

Musings

Hey,

I never thought I’d be back here writing. Back in the same room, same boarding house but minus the scary boyfriend. Why I left Sydney for awhile in the first place.

So where am I in my life? Not sure. Still searching – for what? Some sign to show me I am on the right path. Well I guess for that to happen one needs to actually be on the path in the first place, not hiding in the bushes on the side, too scared to come out till the time is right. Well time’s a-wastin’ and I better get myself walking down that road before it’s too late.

Hmmm, maybe a cheerful post next time?

Love

V x

Paperdoll Cabaret

Reflections On My Week

Still no eloquent words tumbling from my brain. But I’m happy to be doing things I love-choir, painting, radio, music discussion group.

I hope the words come back soon.

Love V ❤