I know it’s been awhile…but here’s a little update.
Starting randomly and probably meandering.
I am so so not happy with my life at the moment. The good bits – Soda (my cat). My children, even though relationships there are currently not so good, I believe we can salvage them with careful nurturing on my part. I am the Mum after all and as such I believe I should take the lead in this. I have been an unconventional Mum in a world where others have very particular ideas on what that means, and tend to be very critical. I admit I should’ve been “tougher”.
I have been lamenting my living situation. Living in one room in a boarding house- no cooking facilities apart from a dodgy microwave in the laundry. There is a washing machine there but not for guests to use. The landlady can be persuaded to put a load through for you, but things get lost, there is not enough hanging space etc etc etc. No heaters are allowed (we’re at the end of Autumn here and it is getting cold). I feel the cold quite badly. Also no candles, incense, smudging etc allowed. My room is small. It’s had me in a tailspin. I’ve been avoiding leaving the room, agoraphobia is really hitting. I had a bad fall about 3 months ago and it’s led me to not trust my own body and its ability to stay upright.
BUT, I could be looking at this another way. What better opportunity than now to try out new ways of living. For example minimalism. I read about someone who only has enough to fill 2 suitcases, a backpack and her handbag. I could do this. I could also begin exploring veganism – raw foods in particular.
My plans right now (and believe me this could change) are to get together some warm clothes. Op shops: hopefully woollen blankets, sturdy shoes and warm pants etc.
Get a survival pack together. I could use what’s recommended to take to Burning Man (app.10 days) as a starting point, remembering to rotate as necessary. Next comes saving up for a vehicle. Preferably one that could be lived in for a time. Because after that will come the purchase of some land in an area where the vagaries of government etc will have as little impact as possible. Then the garden. Veggies, chickens, eggs, flowers to enjoy and make healing waters from. Then I will build my Tiny House.
I would prefer not to have to do this alone. I’m still hoping to find that “special someone” or at least have some kind of caring community around (or preferably both).
There are many things to consider, many things to learn. I really don’t know if this is a realistic, workable plan, but it is a plan. I’ve been flying by the seat of my pants for so long now, but I am too old, tired and world-weary for this to continue.
Of course there are other areas to explore and make decisions on- Spirituality for one thing. I’m all over the place. No wonder panic attacks and emotional anguish are a constant part of my life.
Simplify. Carry through with something. My life depends on it.
I was going to add a photo but I’m writing this on my phone and can’t seem to find how to do it.
Take care lovely people. Till next time…
Love V 🌱